Thanksgiving is a pain in the ass.
Sure, the concept of a day dedicated to giving thanks for our countless blessings is a great idea, too bad the holiday itself is almost always super-fucking-stressful. Between the epic traffic, drunken mid-dinner political clashes, needless debates about the validity of dietary restrictions, and that one relative who’s just counting down to midnight for the Black Friday sales, it’s enough to put anyone in an emotional tailspin.
Good thing we have a ton of great Thanksgiving-set movies to retreat into! No Thanksgiving is complete without a screening of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Addams Family Values and… The Ice Storm? Dutch?
Yeah, Eli’s Roth’s holiday slasher Thanksgiving is a retro good time, and the so-bad-its-good turkey-day slasher Bloodrage has the line “that’s not cranberry sauce”, but Thanksgiving doesn’t really get it’s due in film. Not like Christmas or Halloween at least.
But there’s one specific movie I watch every year at this time, and every year I keep hoping that by holiday magic, the film will somehow transform into what I want it to be, into what it always should have been.
You’re Next — currently on Netflix — should have been a Thanksgiving movie.
I don’t mean to besmirch the violent and darkly funny home-invasion slasher/thriller from director Adam Wingard and screenwriter Simon Barrett. I truly love how the film slowly reveals itself as a brutal tale of family disfunction, and I especially love how the film jump-started former scream-queen Barbara Crampton’s career resurgence… but had it all taken place on Thanksgiving, it would have been a holiday classic!
For the uninitiated, 2011’s You’re Next is the story of the Davison family’s adult children Crispian, Drake, Felix and Annie (and their respective significant others) who are gathering at the family’s remote country estate to celebrate parents Aubrey (Barbara Crampton) & Paul’s (Rob Moran) wedding anniversary.
After an appropriately slasher-y opening set piece, the Davison family starts showing up at the luxurious house and immediately we’re keyed into the time of year. Leaves cover the lawn. Trees stand bare. Breath is visible. Even through the screen, the air feels crisp. It’s obviously late fall. It’s already priming the pump for Thanksgiving shenanigans. But no.
As eldest son Crispian (AJ Bowen) drives his date Erin (Sharni Vinson) up to the house he warns her about the chaotic family dynamic she’s about to enter. We get little bits about his mother’s emotional instability and the family’s involvement in government defense contractor KPG (connecting it to another Wingard/Barrett collaboration The Guest – for more on that, see my article about Dan Stevens) in a way that absolutely feels like he’s preparing her for a family holiday, but again… nope. No Thanksgiving.
And then we get into the sibling rivalry between brothers Crispian and Drake (Joe Swanberg at his snarky, shit-talking best) that feels uncomfortably real as the two trade verbal jabs and a few brotherly-blows. Everything about their scenes together feels like a reaction to holiday stress. But nope. We’re here for an anniversary, not an annual holiday.
By the time the entire family arrives, it’s time for dinner. A big dinner. In a big dining room. With a ton of people. Around a long dining room table. You know, like a Thanksgiving dinner scene? But no turkey. No thanks given. What the fuck? Come on, man… it’s all sitting right there! All they needed was a festive table-runner and a collection of the children’s hand-turkeys on the fridge to help this film transcend its genre and become a seasonal tradition for all of us to enjoy! It makes me mental just thinking about how little would have to be adjusted for the film to lean into the holiday.
I guess not everyone likes holiday films as much as I do. Maybe no one does.
By the time the crossbow-wielding, livestock-mask-wearing, home invaders finally descend on the family in the middle of their not-thanksgiving-dinner, the already shaky family-dynamic is ready to fracture. The siblings struggle to assert their control over the situation, each of them with an endless supply of bad ideas, until Crispian’s date, Erin, shows her true stripes and takes over.
I won’t spoil the fun twists the film takes as it evolves from home-invasion-terror to splat-stick action/ horror, but Erin is a badass and Sharni Vinson shines as the working-class outsider who might be this wealthy family’s only hope… even if they don’t deserve her.
You’re Next is a violent, cynical, and oddly funny exploration of family dysfunction that I wholeheartedly recommend to any horror/thriller fans out there. So, does the fact that it’s not a Thanksgiving movie make the film any less enjoyable? I’m sure for the vast majority of people out there the answer would be no, but for me?
Yes. I can’t help but see what might have been.
You’re Next leans so tantalizingly close to the holiday that its absence is not just noticeable, it feels cruel. And maybe that cruelty is intentional? Maybe Wingard and Barrett wanted to usurp our holiday expectations and make us yearn for a version of the film we’ll never see? Maybe this is them having the last laugh? Maybe I’m just an unhinged, holiday film snob with a chip on his shoulder? If you need me, I’ll just be over here watching Miracle on 34th Street again.
