It’s been 14 years since we had a new Final Destination movie. All these years, sitting here, watching people die without a complex Rube Goldberg type of death. If it makes you feel any better, the producers were working on this script since 2018. They were met with problems like the COVID-19 pandemic and numerous entertainment strikes that put the script on ice for a while. But now we have a new movie, Final Destination Bloodlines, and it is a golden entry in the franchise.
Final Destination Bloodlines opens with an impressive sequence you probably saw most of in the trailer: a restaurant in the sky crumbles, its glass dance floor shatters, and fire rages through the establishment. This turns out to be Stefani’s (Kaitlyn Santa Juana) nightmare, one she has had every night. It is preventing her from getting any sleep, leaving her on academic probation at her college. The main character in her dream is named Iris (Brec Bassinger), which happens to be her grandmother’s name, so she starts asking about her among family members.
Stefani’s family is something of a disaster. Her grandmother, Iris (Gabrielle Rose), kept her two children locked in the house for most of their childhood, fearful of death coming for them. This so thoroughly screwed up Stefani’s mother, Darlene (Rya Kihlstedt), that she abandoned her family many years ago. Stefani finally tracks down Iris, visiting her at her terrifying, middle-of-nowhere house — the kind of place that appears built to withstand a zombie invasion. Iris frightens Stefani with her intensity, and insists she take a special “death book” with her. It will give her all the information she needs. Then, to prove her theory, she steps outside and is killed in a spectacularly violent way.
Stefani goes through the death book, and everything makes sense. Iris was supposed to die that night at the restaurant along with all the other customers. But she saved them, meaning she interrupted death’s plan. Within the book is evidence that death has been going after everyone who was supposed to die, then killing any of their descendants. Death is detail oriented. Which means that Stefani and her family are next in line for an existence scrubbing.
You don’t need to have seen any previous Final Destination movies to be able to enjoy Bloodlines. There are a couple of nice little callbacks that, if you are a fan of previous installments, are fun surprises. But you need know nothing of the previous films’ plane flight explosion, logging-truck disaster, roller coaster derailment, race track crash, or bridge collapse — nor the substitute snuffouts in their sidestepped absence.
The deaths are great in this film. And really, that’s what makes a splendid Final Destination film: elaborate, inventive “unalivings” that are carefully planned by Death’s Rube Goldberg machine. I won’t ruin them because, honestly, in a Final Destination film, the deaths are far more interesting than who dies. These deaths were beautifully gory, dripping with blood, pus, and bits of skin. Which, y’know, is still less gross than a trip to Walmart.
The actors didn’t really do anything for me, but when their main job is to be there to die, their ability to be a loving, believable family doesn’t really matter. For example, I thought cousin Julia (Anna Lore) was brother Charlie’s (Teo Briones) girlfriend because of how cold she was to Stefani, but loving to Charlie. Of course, this doesn’t apply to the late, legendary Tony Todd — who reprises his role of William Bludworth, the coroner, to great aplomb and offers a beautiful speech that acts as a goodbye to his fans.
Directors Zach Lipovsky and Adam B. Stein do a distinguished and illustrious job staging awesome, mind-melting death scenes. Some of the Rube Goldberg situations are definitely complex (see: the scene in which Erik (Richard Harmon) gets caught in a ceiling fan by his nose ring), but they are never hard to follow.
Final Destination Bloodlines is a fun movie. Great deaths, great gore, and a plotline that isn’t too complex or requires any knowledge of previous installments of the franchise. It’s the perfect bloody, feel-good film.
